Good Intentions (The Road to Hell Series, Book 1) Read online

  Cheers and laughter rang out as the families happily gathered their letters. Sometimes, along with the letters came the news someone had been lost. While I watched, I saw ten families being led away from the crowd and toward the high school by the military woman.

  “That’s not good,” Gage muttered.

  “No, it’s not,” I agreed.

  “That’s more than five times the amount of deaths from last year,” Lisa said.

  “From any year,” I replied.

  “Some of those rumors about things amping up at the wall must be true.” Gage glanced at the wadded up fliers near his hand, shoving them roughly aside before rising to his feet. “Come on, let’s go dance or something.”

  I placed Bailey on the ground and rose to my feet. Keeping hold of his hand, I led him through the crowd already beginning to celebrate once again. Glancing over my shoulder, my gaze fell on the last young girl who had volunteered. I’d seen days ago she would do so, I somehow knew her name was Carrie, but the thing I didn’t understand was why I felt like I’d be seeing her again.

  I didn’t get impressions or visions or whatever they were about myself. I was too old to volunteer, and I knew neither Gage nor Lisa would ever betray me, but I knew something wasn’t right.

  CHAPTER 6

  River

  It was late afternoon when we made our way back home. Bailey was asleep on my shoulder, his arms draped around my neck and his little breaths blowing against my cheek. The sweet scent of caramel clinging to his skin filled my nostrils. Damp with sweat, his hair stuck to my cheek. I kissed his head, my heart swelling with love when he released a small snore.

  At our street, Lisa broke away with a wave to go to her and Asante’s small house. We walked in silence to our house and up the stairs to the door. No lights were on within, and I didn’t hear the drone of the news. Gage and I exchanged a resigned look when we realized the blackout was still in effect. Our mother would probably be in a worse mood now that she hadn’t had her TV to watch all day.

  “I should cook the other fish before it goes bad,” he said.

  “Yeah,” I agreed as he opened the door.

  The screen door creaked closed behind us when we entered the house. Gage strode down the hall, and I started to turn to the right to put Bailey to bed when I saw Gage freeze beside the island in the kitchen. His head was down and turned to the side, his arms at his sides. He lurched forward and grabbed something from the counter.

  I stopped, curious to see what had caught his attention. He spun toward me, his mouth gaping open and a piece of paper in his hand. “River—”

  Whatever he’d been about to say was cut off by the squeak of the screen door opening behind me. A tendril of alarm coiled within me; I didn’t need any extra senses to know something was completely wrong. I kept hoping, if I didn’t turn around, I wouldn’t have to see what was making Gage’s mouth open and close like that and his eyes bug from his head.

  No matter how much I didn’t want to look, I knew I had to face what was waiting for me. Taking a deep breath, I turned to find the middle-aged man and woman who had arrived for the volunteering standing in the doorway. Behind them stood my mother and a handful of Guards.

  I placed a protective hand against Bailey’s back as my chin rose. My heart sank when I belatedly realized Gage had been holding a flier in his hand.

  My mother rarely left the house, but there had been no electricity all day today. With nothing to do here, the volunteering must have drawn her out. Or perhaps the military had decided to do a door-to-door search this year in order to uncover this someone different they were looking for.

  Either way, I knew my mother had been the one to sell me out. She may not know the extent of what I could do, but it had always been present in me. The foolish child I’d once been, the one who had still held out some hope she could come to love me, had told her about some of the visions I’d had before. I’d been too young to realize the love I was seeking by telling her my secrets would never be given. She would never love me the way a mother should love her daughter.

  As I’d gotten older, and realized I better distance myself from this woman, I’d tried to keep it from her, but it was already too late by then.

  Over time, I’d learned that she hated me, but I hadn’t known how much until now. She’d relied on me, but she’d found another way to take care of her family by getting rid of me. Something she’d probably been wishing she could do since the day I was born.

  The silence stretched on endlessly; Bailey shifted in my arms. Burrowing closer against my neck, he let out a contented sound that caused tears to flood my eyes. I hadn’t given birth to him, but I loved him as if he were my own. Gage and I had been the ones to raise and take care of him, and I knew before any words were exchanged, I would never see either of them again.

  “River Dawson?” the colonel inquired.

  “That’s her,” my mother confirmed when I stayed mute.

  My nostrils flared, and I strove to remain calm with Bailey in my arms. “I’m twenty-two,” I said. “Too old to volunteer.”

  “That’s not why we’re here,” the colonel replied.

  “I’m not volunteering.”

  “Doesn’t matter, not with this.”

  I glanced at my mother; I didn’t ask her why she’d done this because I already knew the answer, but I wanted to choke the woman.

  “It does matter!” Gage said angrily. “No one is taken to the wall against their will.”

  “These are different circumstances,” the colonel replied.

  “What circumstances?” Gage demanded.

  “It’s been brought to our attention your sister has certain abilities.”

  Gage gave a snort of disbelief, but before he could speak again, my mother did. “She does. I’ve seen them myself. She’s scared me since she was a child. She has the Devil’s eyes.”

  My teeth grated together at this statement, one I’d heard countless times over the years. My eyes weren’t a normal color, but violet wasn’t exactly something I would associate with being demonic. However, her words had perked the attention of the military man and woman; their eyebrows rose, and they exchanged a pointed look with each other. Something about their expressions caused my blood to run cold.

  For the first time, real panic hit me as I looked back and forth between the military personnel and the Guards beyond. I would never be able to shove past them to escape. Maybe I had somehow managed to set those curtains on fire all those years ago, but I had no idea how it worked or what would happen if I tried to set something on fire now. I couldn’t take the chance of anything happening to Bailey.

  “The only thing about me that frightened you was I was yours and you were supposed to take care of me!” I snapped at my mother.

  “She sees things she’s not supposed to! I know she does,” my mother accused. “She told me so herself!”

  Right then, I would have given anything to go back and kick six-year-old me in the throat.

  “She’s a lunatic; everyone around here knows that. If not for my brother and me, she wouldn’t eat. She barely moves out of that chair.” I thrust a finger at the torn and stained recliner in the living room.

  Bailey squirmed in my arms; I rubbed my hand across his back in order to calm him. “It does not matter, miss,” the military woman replied. “You will come with us.”

  “I am the main food supply and caregiver to my siblings.” My tone remained calm, but my heart raced and sweat dampened my palms. All I wanted was to turn and bolt out of here, or set my mother on fire. If it wouldn’t confirm to them I was different, I may have done it, if I could figure out how to do it.

  I’d never hated her before. I’d never had any respect for her, and I’d disliked her, but I’d never hated her. Now hatred festered inside of me like rotten fish, and if I had a chance at getting to her, I would have beaten her to within an inch of her life.

  The man’s eyes flicked to Bailey before going to Gage who strode forward to
stand behind my shoulder. “That’s true!” Gage declared. “That woman has nothing to do with us. Without River, we would have died years ago.”

  “Because your sister will be coming with us, food will be supplied to you from now on,” the colonel replied.

  I could feel Gage’s growing agitation as he shifted behind me. I risked a glance at him. His hands were fisted at his sides, a vein in his forehead throbbed, and a thin layer of sweat coated his flushed face.

  “She’ll throw us out on the street!” Gage retorted and thrust a finger at our mother.

  “As per the rules of volunteers’ families and the agreement with your mother, you will be taken care of.”

  The blood pumping through my veins felt like ice. I found it increasingly difficult to breathe as the realization sank in that I had no choice. I glanced toward the back door. Even if I could get away and make it out of this house, there was nowhere for me to go, nowhere for me to hide. We were on an island for crying out loud.

  And what of Bailey and Gage? I couldn’t leave them behind with my mother. I couldn’t take them with me, and if I could somehow manage to escape with them, running and hiding was no way for them to live.

  I turned back toward the crowd in the doorway before looking at my mother’s smug smile. The colonel turned in the doorway and waved some of the Guards forward. I gasped when Asante stepped through the door.

  His sable eyes were sad when they met mine. “I’m sorry, River. I didn’t know this was going to happen when they ordered us to do the door to door inquiry,” he said.

  “It’s okay, Asante. I know. I’ll go willingly—”

  “No!” Gage shouted. The ragged tone of his voice caused tears to burn my throat.

  Shifting my hold on Bailey, I seized hold of Gage’s arm when he took an angry step forward. His muscles bulged beneath my grip as he glared at the people across from us. If I let him go, I knew he would launch at them, and I didn’t want to think about what would happen then.

  He couldn’t be locked away; there would be no one to care for Bailey, and I couldn’t stand to see Gage hurt in any way. Bailey lifted his head from my neck, and blinked sleepily at the group gathered across from us before shoving his hand into his mouth.

  “There’s no choice here,” I hissed at Gage. “I have no choice.” Turning back to the group, I focused on my mother. “I’ll come with you willingly, if you agree all she gets out of this is only enough food for her to survive. I want my brothers to be taken care of by someone else, and they will receive whatever other compensation you promised her.”

  “That’s not the deal!” my mother shouted.

  Bailey jumped, his body trembling against mine as he removed his hand and cuddled closer against me. “River,” he murmured.

  “It’s okay,” I told him and patted his back.

  “Miss, you really have no choice here,” the colonel said in a gruff tone.

  “I know I don’t.” I finally looked at him again. “But I will either walk calmly out of here, or I will kick and scream and throw myself in ways that will be guaranteed to draw a crowd. There are already rumors running rampant about the wall, about the increased deaths and what really goes on there. Would you prefer the people here to see you drag a cared for member of this community, who helps provide food to everyone, takes care of her brothers, never volunteered, and is twenty-two years old, from her house? You know it will only cause the unrest to increase.”

  The colonel and the woman exchanged a look again.

  “It won’t help you next year on Volunteer Day. We may be a remote community, but gossip always spreads,” I pressed.

  “We will make sure your brothers are taken care of,” the man replied.

  “Away from her.”

  Gage trembled in my grasp as he looked at me with tears shimmering in his brown eyes. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry! I told myself fiercely. If I lost it now, I would turn into a blubbering mess they would have to carry from here anyway and that would do nothing to ensure my brothers avoided my mother’s clutches.

  “Away from her,” the man promised.

  “I’ll take them. They can live with me and Lisa,” Asante offered. “If that is permissible?” he asked of the colonel.

  The colonel and woman studied me. “Would this be agreeable to you?” the colonel inquired.

  Asante’s warm brown eyes were misty with tears when I looked to him. I bit my bottom lip to keep a sob suppressed. I’d never considered the possibility of losing my brothers; my future without them was a bleak pit of misery I couldn’t face, but if I couldn’t be here for them, then I trusted Asante and Lisa to keep them safe and protected. They would do far better than our mother. Unable to trust myself to speak, I gave a terse nod.

  “They will be kept safe and your friend will receive enough rations to keep them well-fed,” the colonel said to me.

  I blinked back the tears filling my eyes as my shoulders sagged.

  “That’s not part of the deal!” my mother thundered.

  “Take her outside,” the colonel ordered brusquely.

  My mother thrashed against the two men who clasped her arms, but they easily succeeded in removing her from the house. Turning to Gage, I tried to hand Bailey over to him, but his arms locked around my neck. “No!” he yelled in my ear.

  Tears choked my chest and throat. I turned my face into his neck, inhaling deeply of his caramel, baby scent. I’d never forget it, never forget the warmth and chubbiness of his tiny body or the happy giggles he emitted with such ease.

  Please don’t let this take away his laughter, I pleaded as I struggled not to lock my arms around him and refuse to let go.

  “It’s okay, B,” I murmured as the first tear slid down my face. “It’s okay. You have to go with Gage now.”

  “No!” he shouted again.

  His hold on me cut off my air supply, causing me to cough. “Gage,” I choked out. “Help me, please.”

  Gage remained unmoving, his eyes hollow and filled with tears as he stared at the two of us. Finally, he stepped forward and took hold of Bailey’s arms, prying them from my neck.

  “No!” Bailey wailed, his feet kicking in the air, his face flushed as Gage pulled him away. His tiny hands grabbed for me, tears streaked his face. “River!”

  I couldn’t hold back my tears as I stepped forward to embrace them both.

  “I love you, Pittah” Gage whispered hoarsely.

  I’d assumed my brother long past those words and crying; to hear and see those things now was nearly my complete undoing. “I love you too. I’ll be back,” I vowed. I brushed the hair back from Gage’s face as Bailey squirmed in his arms.

  “No one comes back from the wall,” Gage replied in a monotone that made me shiver. “If that’s where they’re taking you.”

  “I will come back,” I vowed. I kissed Gage on the cheek before kissing Bailey’s forehead. “I love you, Stink Bug.”

  He tried to grab me again, but I managed to sidestep his tiny fingers. I forced myself to move further away from them before I couldn’t. Thrusting my shoulders back, I wiped the tears from my eyes and strode toward the doorway.

  I stopped before Asante. “Thank you.”

  “Lisa and I will keep them safe no matter what it takes,” he vowed. “And away from your mother.”

  I bit my bottom lip to stop a fresh wave of tears. “Tell Lisa I said bye and I love her.”

  “I will.”

  “Let’s go,” the colonel said and took hold of my elbow.

  Bailey’s loud wails followed me down the stairs, shredding my heart as we walked across the front yard. The lump in my throat threatened to strangle me as we approached the waiting truck. The camouflage cover had been replaced on the truck, but the newest volunteers had their heads poked out the back of the vehicle to watch us.

  I’d expected them to lead me to where the volunteers sat in the back; instead, they walked me toward the cab. I didn’t see my mother anywhere, something I was unbelievably gra
teful for, but more than a few of my neighbors had been drawn out by the government vehicle and curiosity.

  The woman opened the passenger door for me and gestured for me to climb inside. Taking a deep breath, I gathered my courage as I stared into the unlit cab. I couldn’t embarrass myself by trying to run away from here now. I may be able to lose these two, but they’d have every Guard on the Cape hunting for me, and I had no idea what they would do with my brothers if I broke our agreement now.

  My legs barely supported me when I climbed up the two steps and into the truck. I’d just settled in when I spotted Lisa running down the road toward us. Asante stepped forward to intercept her before she could reach the vehicle. I turned my head away from Lisa’s frantic gestures as her cries rang down the street. Tears slid down to fall on my hands folded in my lap.

  The colonel settled in beside me and started the truck.

  “Where am I going?” I inquired in a hitching voice.

  “To the wall.”

  “Why? What is it you want from me?”

  “You’ll learn what you need to know as it becomes necessary.”

  With those cryptic words, he shifted the truck into drive and hit the gas. I’d been determined not to look back, but I found my gaze going to the driver’s side mirror when we got to the end of the street. In its reflection, I could see Asante, Lisa, Gage, and Bailey. Asante stood beside Lisa, who now held Bailey. He had his arms extended toward the truck while tears streaked his face. Gage was further ahead of them, bent over with his hands on his knees as if he’d chased after us.

  I didn’t care what it took. I would see them again.

  CHAPTER 7

  River

  The further away from home the colonel drove, the more I realized how different things were in this area compared to my hometown. Farms and livestock stretched out as far as the eye could see with houses dotting the landscape. Some of the houses sagged from years of wear and appeared to be abandoned. Others were in better repair and had a few people wandering around outside them.

  Those people stopped what they were doing to watch the passing trucks driving down the road. Before we’d driven over the bridge and off the Cape, we’d been joined by fourteen other trucks carrying volunteers, one from each of the towns on Cape Cod. Along the way, five more trucks had joined us from nearby towns on the other side of the bridge.